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Mark your April calendar
Most people think April is best known for April Fools Day and Easter but let me tell you how wrong that is. Behind Easter there are more very important monthly, weekly and daily observances that should not be ignored. April is Month of the Frog, International Twit Award, National Decorating, and Straw Hat. During the month there is International Pooper-Scooper Week: 1-7 (everyone needs to mark this one), National Week of the Ocean: 4-10 (???), International Whistler's Week: 14-18, and most importantly Sky Awareness Week: 18-24 (be sure you are aware of the sky).
During the month, I felt you might need to schedule your appointments around the following Daily Observances:
Sorry Charlie Day: 1
St Stupid Day: 1 -http://www.saintstupid.com/event.html#newz (I know a lot of people who need to celebrate this day!)
Pony Express Day: 3
International Beaver Day: 7
No Housework Day: 7 (Now this would be my favorite day)
National Cherish An Antique Day: 9
International "Louie Louis" Day: 11
D.E.A.R. Day (aka Drop Everything and Read): 12 - http://www.dropeverythingandread.com/NationalDEARday.html
Licorice Day: 12
Walk on Your Wild Side Day: 12
Take a Wild Guess Day: 15 (I will make that guess when someone asks me something)
That Sucks Day: 15 (I seem to have a lot of these days lately)
National Wear Your Pajamas To Work Day: 16 (I almost wish I was working - at least on this day only)
National Hanging Out Day: 19
Talk Like Shakespeare Day: 23 - http://www.talklikeshakespeare.org/
Hug An Australian Day: 26 (this is a good idea but I don't know anyone from Australia)
National Hairball Awareness Day: 30
I hope this will be a great month for you.
Have you got a plan?
Need someone to give me a free new Car
I constantly see the ads for "Need free car, free this or free that". I grew up thinking that if I wanted a car then I would have to work to save up enough money, at least for a down payment. Now I find out after 60 some years that I was doing it all wrong. Starting now I will use a new approach.... I need a newer Car, not a 2009, something bigger and more expensive. If you have one just sitting around in your garage, collecting dust, then call me.
or
Need large item for free!
Looking for a large heavy item, boat, car, back hoe, grader, bob cat, travel trailer. So if you need to get something like this out of your yard let us know. Delivered be best but may be able to haul away. Thank you for looking!
Get real, if you can't afford to buy a car, then how will you afford to keep it insured or do regular maintenance on it. Every car is going to need brakes and starters, etc replaced.
I understand hard times, believe me I know it very well, but at some point you have to quit hoping someone else will do it and maybe go out and get a second job, come up with a plan that will change your finances. Then stick to it.
A Thoughtful Thursday
I take a truck load of pills a day for the old ticker and I can't believe my heart doctor insists I take those gosh-awful, belch making, terrible tasting, fish oil capsules. Do they really think they are good for helping your blood slip and slide through your veins? Someone said put them in the fridge and they wouldn't taste but I figure all my food would eventually taste like fish oil. I guess I need to remember I haven't seen many fish with heart problems so it must be a good thing?
How many of you scream and yell at the person in front of you, in a drive thru line, who is on the cell phone and not paying attention to the fact that they could be on their way to the interstate by now if they would get off the phone. Cell phone calls are worse than putting make up on in the car while waiting in line. OMG what did people do before they could spend every minute with a cell phone at their ear?
I keep wanting to call someone or write someone and say "if people don't buy health insurance now what makes you think they will buy it if you make it cheaper?" They are sitting at home or on some park bench and spending their money on booze, drugs and cigarettes and are not about to spend it on health care. Why doesn't the IRS go after all the government people working in DC who haven't paid taxes in years???? I understand they owe in the billions plus the congressmen and senators who owe their taxes. Get them first then you have a right to go after some poor schulp in the park under the newspaper....lol. (P S - I bet a lot of people who don't have health care have a cell phone!)
Tomorrow starts three days of the town wide Garage Sale.....Woo Hoo!! My daughter is taking Friday off and we are geared to go about 7:15 in the am. I will let you know if I find all those things I have been unable to live without. Bet you wish you were going with us?
Mondays Musings
 Did anyone else miss Saturdays holiday? March 20 was Alien Abduction Day, when "the skies are carefully watched by those expecting / wishing to be abducted by an alien life form," states eHow.com. The strange holiday's origins are unclear, though it was clearly popularized by the 2008 Alien Abduction Day festival in Toronto. For next year, you can keep track of all your alien and UFO sightings. If you are new at this sort of extraterrestrial stuff, UFOcenter.com can help. You will find "The Web's most comprehensive and up-to-date UFO information source; provided by America's foremost UFO Reporting Agency; in continuous operation since 1974." The site even features a UFO sighting report form (gotta get me one of those forms just in case).
"Daisy" the duck (she/he has been named) has moved in permanently I guess. I gave my renter a large trash can and told her she could turn it on the side and maybe Daisy would move in during the blizzard of Saturday. She did go in for a minute or two but eventually came back out. Even with a towel to lay on ducks are not as easy to make a home for as a dog.
Aw-Shucks
 Guess there are no garage sales today!!!
Did the raccoon eat the dog food?
I guess the duck has moved in, at least in the next door back yard (my rent house) and the family who lives in my rent house is keeping their cute dog in my back yard when he's out. My back yard has grass and theirs doesn't since the last renters let all the grass die in both the front and back. My renter went and got a city animal trap to help me catch the raccoon but two nights have passed and we have no black eyed furry friend in the cage!!! I am thinking we need to change food items in the cage. Don't think a raccoon likes dog food.
My grandson told me Friday that if I wanted to I could write down on my Christmas paper that he wears a size 5 roller blade! Guess you know where we went Saturday after his basketball game.....K-Mart for roller blades. He is so into indoor skating and he skates so long on Friday night, at the skating rink, that his feet actually hurt. He could never have waited till Christmas.
A life long friend of mine passed away over the weekend and I attended his funeral today. In his little handout it said he never met a math problem or computer that he didn't like. His wife had related that in the 60's when she tried to cash one of his paychecks, the store was a little leery because it was from an unknown business called IBM!!! She also said when he would explain to people what he did their eyes would often glaze over, (I have a nephew who builds computer programs and he does the same to me). He was in with that first batch of people who knew one day everyone would have a computer at home. He will be missed by those who knew him.
Growing Up Without A Cell Phone.....
This is for all us "old farts"...and some of you middle-aged...becoming...like us...OFs. I have no idea who wrote it and I have added some of my own thoughts. If you got this in an email please excuse me but I thought it was good for a laugh.
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When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning.... Uphill...Barefoot... BOTH ways... yadda, yadda, yadda
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it! But now that I'm over the ripe old age of thirty (way over), I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it!
I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet (or even tv). If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!
There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents (my generation paid 2 cents! Can you imagine the Post Office making it on that amount of money?)
Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. (my mom's favorite was a switch from the lilac bush) As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our a$$! Nowhere was safe!
There were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself!
Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, (we didn't even have tape recorders) and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished, and then the tape would come undone rendering it useless. Cause, hey, that's how we rolled, Baby! Dig?
We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's it!
There weren't any freakin' cell phones either. If you left the house, you just didn't make a damn call or receive one. You actually had to be out of touch with your "friends". OH MY GOD !!! Think of the horror... not being in touch with someone 24/7!!! And then there's TEXTING. Yeah, right. Please! You kids have no idea how annoying you are.
And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your bookie, your girlfriend, a collection agency... you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
We didn't have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'. Your screen guy was a little square!
You actually had to use your imagination!!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen...Forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE! (Gosh we didn't even have that, we had an orange crate and our imaginations)
You had to use a little book called a TV Guide or the Sunday paper to find out what was on!
You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off you're a$ and walk over to the TV to change the channel!!! NO REMOTES!!! Oh, no, what's the world coming to?!?! (my friends and I had to share the radio with our family members - now a murder mystery on the radio definitely takes a good imagination)
There was no Cartoon Network, Disney, or Nick either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-finks! (Now my kids watched cartoons on Saturday while I could sleep in but when I was a kid we were outside and gathering our friends early on Saturday. We didn't waste a minute of a Saturday or Sunday)
And we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove! Imagine that! And our parents told us to stay outside and play...all day long. Oh no, no electronics to soothe and comfort. And if you came back inside... you were doing chores! And car seats - oh, please! Mom threw you in the back seat and you hung on. If you were lucky and in the front seat, you got the "safety arm" across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling "shot gun" in the first place! See! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled rotten! You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980 or any time before!
Regards,
The Over 30 (and way over 30) Crowd
(Send this to someone you'd like to make smile)
Tuesday Tidbits
 Well yesterday the lady next door called and said I had a duck in my driveway. I said "what kind of a duck?" She said a live, full grown duck and it was drinking rainwater out of puddles on the driveway. I grabbed my camera and headed out the back door and had to shoot through the chain link gate. I tried to move closer but it decided to leave at that point. The other day I had a raccoon in the back yard. Do I have a sign on my house that says ZOO?
Bummer, my physical therapist says the results from the second MRI didn't show any pinched nerves either. Now what? Guess I will go ahead and see the neurologist in April. I am taking my daughter with me. She is one of those people who demands an answer of some sort! And she is getting really tired of me not being able to go and do things with her and the kids.
Duh, I won something!!!! At my favorite hometown grocery, every 21st person checking out got to draw a ticket from the box and I got a gallon of Borden milk.
Did I tell you that when I fell I broke my eye glasses in half and then one of the lens fell out. Well I waited till my face went down and I looked a little better and I went back to my optometrist and asked for some rubber frames. Guess what! My lens and frames were still under warranty. Usually they check on things like that and my warranty usually had run out 3 days before the accident. What good luck. I got them back today at NO CHARGE. Speaking of the fall, I went to the dentist yesterday and they did some more work with the laser and on my lip also. The dentist said I had an infection in there so he put me on some antibiotics to help clear it up. I was wandering why my lip was so sore and still hurt when all my other 'owies' have healed up. I still had this little knot on the inside and they had worked on it the last dental day and it helped but they had more to do. Wonder why a doctor doesn't do something like that? I want to say I am ashamed of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences who intentionally did not mention Farrah Fawcett at the Oscars memorial section the other night. They mentioned Michael Jackson, who was only a singer and not Farrah who had 19 movies and was a member of the Academy for 40 years. The picture here is my son and his Farrah poster when he was about 12. He got all kinds of requests for this photo after she died and it was even in a magazine.
A woman's week at the gym!
If you read this without laughing out loud, there is something wrong with you This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine. (author unknown)
Dear Diary,
For my birthday this year, my husband purchased a week of personal training at the local health club. Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try. I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Christo, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. Friends seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.
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MONDAY:
Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Christo waiting for me. He is something of a Greek god-- with blond hair, dancing eyes, and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!
Christo gave me a tour and showed me the machines.. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!
Christo was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time he was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!!
________________________________
TUESDAY:
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door... Christo made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then he put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. His rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT! It's a whole new life for me.
_______________________________
WEDNESDAY:
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals.. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.
Christo was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members.. His voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.
My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Christo put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Christo told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. He said some other crap too.
_______________________________
THURSDAY:
Butthole was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late-- it took me that long to tie my shoes.
He took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. He sent some skinny witch to find me.
Then, as punishment, he put me on the rowing machine-- which I sank.
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FRIDAY:
I hate that demon Christo more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic, little aerobic instructor. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it.
Christo wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the darn barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.
The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?
__ ______________________________
SATURDAY:
Satan left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing his voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel..
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SUNDAY:
I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my husband will choose a gift for me that is fun-- like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!
Copy this and send to a friend who needs to laugh. We all need a good laugh
Dooce.com blog author joins HGTV
 Heather B. Armstrong of dooce.com is widely acknowledged to be the most popular “mommyblogger” in the world. She has more than 1.6 million followers on Twitter, and was recently named by Forbes Magazine as one of the 30 most influential women in media, along with Diane Sawyer, Kelly Ripa and Oprah Winfrey. She has been profiled in the Wall Street Journal and the New York Times, and she’s appeared as a guest on Oprah, The Bonnie Hunt Show and CNN. Armstrong is the author of the 2009 New York Times bestselling book, It Sucked and Then I Cried: How I Had a Baby, a Breakdown, and a Much Needed Margarita. Armstrong lives in Salt Lake City with her husband, Jon Armstrong, their two young daughters, and two dogs, Chuck and Coco. Check out her current post on HGTV.
Snuggies For Seniors
While it may sound silly up front, it really is a serious effort. If anyone would like to contribute, click on the button above to help with the cause. Or please donate some Snuggies to needy nursing homes in your area.
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