Never go to bed angry, stay up and plot your revenge!

Wipe your mouth, there's still a tiny bit of bullshit around your lips.

Did you eat an extra bowl of stupid this morning?

Don't make me use UPPERCASE

If you have something to say, raise your hand and place it over your mouth

I don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce

Life is too short to dance with ugly men

Well this little man lost his first tooth last night (his adult teeth were already coming in behind the baby teeth). When I picked up my daughter this morning for garage sales, she was livid. She told me she had been up until 4 this morning and so had Mr Wiggle Tooth!! It seems he was awaiting the ever illusive tooth fairy. A conversation had gone on almost all night about what color is the tooth fairy, does she fly, walk or ride something, what does she look like, are you sure she will leave me money under my pillow. When he got into the car this morning, with his $3, he was so excited and told me he had felt her move the pillow when she left the money. He just knew it. For now we have one more loose one down there on the bottom ready to fall out at any minute.

that the "Geronimo" was an automobile made right here in Enid, OK.

Geronimo cars (1917) were only produced for a short time because after the plant burned, no one bothered to rebuild.

Salt Plains National Wildlife Refuge, Jet, OK -

The Salt Plains are a flat expanse of mud, completely devoid of vegetation, located in north central Oklahoma. The name, Salt Plains, is derived from the thin layer of salt that covers the flats. This salt was used by Native American tribes and early pioneers who first settled the area. The plains are 7 miles in length and approximately 3 miles wide and lie within the boundaries of the Salt Plains National Wildlife Refuge.

Selenite is a crystallized form of gypsum. Chemically, it is a hydrous calcium sulfate. Gypsum is a common mineral that takes on a great variety of crystal forms and shapes. On the Salt Plains, the crystals are formed just below the salt encrusted surface. They are seldom found deeper than 2 feet below the surface.

Crystals take on the characteristics of their environment; the finer the soil, the more clear the crystals. Iron oxide in the soil gives the crystals their chocolate brown color. Single crystals, penetration twins, and clusters are the typical crystal shapes most frequently encountered on the refuge. Exceptional individual crystals measuring up to 7 inches long have been found, along with complex combinations weighing as much as 38 pounds.

















only place in the world that creates these crystals.
















dig area. For More Crystal Dig pictures check here �

Bugles Across America supports thousands of live buglers who play taps at funerals of our veterans and active duty personnel. They do this by providing what is needed to have a live bugler rather than a recording. At the end of a lot of years, a lone man, Tom Day must pay out of his own pocket to cover some of the costs that had not been paid. This has often been as much as $10,000 a year. As this non-profit organization states.

If you have a minute please visit their site and if you have a few dollars extra please donate to this worthy cause.

There was a neat article in the newspaper this week that I would like to share with all of you this Memorial Day weekend.........

Here are some words to live (and die) by
By Diane Peck, Columnist
Enid News & Eagle, Enid, OK (May 09)

Earlier this year, Jeff Mullin, of the Enid News and Eagle, wrote about summing up a life in just six words, and how these words easily could become a personal epitaph. His examples and responses to that column were captivating and touching, as well as funny.

This Memorial weekend, many of us will pause to reflect on the lives of those no longer with us. To remember and honor does not necessarily require a trip to the cemetery, but going there provides a chance to check out the many ways people choose to memorialize their loved ones. Not all tributes are made up of just six words, of course, but as space on that stone is limited, most are short and to the point.

Like many small town cemeteries, the one near Ames provides a rich history of the area. There are lots of family names that appear again and again, including those of my husbands family, the Pecks and Downs. I have always enjoyed strolling through this cemetery. Away from town, the only sounds come from the wind, a few cows and an occasional passing vehicle. To me, it feels like a cemetery should, peaceful, quiet, thought provoking.

The headstones are unique and varied, inscriptions range from simple birth and death dates to elaborately etched stones featuring verses, song lyrics, quotes, pictures, flags, vases, and sometimes, even a few words about the manner in which the person passed on. Oh yeah, and there is one rather large and eerie stone that never fails to raise the hairs on the back of my neck. It says something like "As you are now, so once was I. As I am now, you soon will be. Prepare yourself to follow me." (Yikes! First I would like to know which way he went!)

In one local Enid cemetery, there is a headstone inscription that reads. "There will be two dates on your tombstone, and all your friends will read 'em, but all that is gonna matter is, that little dash between 'em (Song lyrics by Kevin Welch) And it is that dash that can pack a punch!

The Daily Oklahoman obits are full of the "dash" lowdown, for example, an obituary might go something like this: Mary Sue was crowned "Popcorn Queen" for the number of bags she could fill every Friday morning at Horton Elementary School. The rest of her week was spent bartending, coloring hair, striper fishing and making just about anything out of a piece of foil. Or how about this one: Joe Don liked his wife, but loved his dog. (Easily transformed into the six meaningful words: Liked his wife, loved his dog!)

Since we are all going to be remembered for something, here is an exercise that might help you determine whether you are living a life that will make that something a good thing. I read about this years ago. Imagine yourself at your own "after the funeral" dinner, lurking about, listening to what your friends and family have to say about you and your life. For me, it might come out sounding something like this: "You had to be sure you never got between her and her kids, her and her money, or her and her food." "She could not pass a mirror without checking her hair." "Yeah, ole Diane, she could dish it out but she could not take it!" "But she made an awesome taco salad."

My husband and I are still undecided whether to go for burial or cremation. (I have toyed with the idea of having my ashes divided up into cute little containers so each of my kids can have a bit of me. Only problem is, I am afraid I might one day end up on the 10 cent table at a garage sale!) Anyway, we figure whether it is casket or urn, we would like a little something said, so we came up with these simple words to sum up our lives on this earth. He says for me it should be "Her mind was almost as sharp as her tongue." And mine for him, "He could not put it off until tomorrow."

Someone sent this to me and I laughed so hard because it is so true. Only you women will understand but the men can have a good laugh also. As you go to get your summer bathing suit, I wish you luck......

When I was a child in the 1960's the bathing suit for the mature figure was-boned, trussed and reinforced, not so much sewn as engineered. They were built to hold back and uplift and they did a good job. Today's stretch fabrics are designed for the prepubescent girl with a figure carved from a potato chip.

The mature woman has a choice - she can either go up front to the maternity department and try on a floral suit with a skirt, coming away looking like a hippopotamus who escaped from Disney's Fantasia or she can wander around every run of the mill department store trying to make a sensible choice from what amounts to a designer range of florescent rubber bands. What choice did I have? I wandered around, made my sensible choice and entered the chamber of horrors known as the fitting room.

The first thing I noticed was the extraordinary tensile strength of the stretch material. The Lycra used in bathing costumes was developed, I believe, by NASA to launch small rockets from a slingshot, which give the added bonus that if you manage to actually lever yourself into one, you are protected from shark attacks as any shark taking a swipe at your passing midriff would immediately suffer whiplash.

I fought my way into the bathing suit, but as I twanged the shoulder strap in place, I gasped in horror - my boobs had disappeared!

Eventually, I found one boob cowering under my left armpit. It took a while to find the other. At last I located it flattened beside my seventh rib.

The problem is that modern bathing suits have no bra cups. The mature woman is meant to wear her boobs spread across her chest like a speed bump. I realigned my speed bump and lurched toward the mirror to take a full view assessment.

The bathing suit fit all right, but unfortunately it only fit those bits of me willing to stay inside it. The rest of me oozed out rebelliously from top, bottom, and sides. I looked like a lump of play dough wearing undersized cling wrap.

As I tried to work out where all those extra bits had come from, the prepubescent sales girl popped her head through the curtain, 'Oh, there you are,' she said, admiring the bathing suit.

I replied that I wasn't so sure and asked what else she had to show me. I tried on a cream crinkled one that made me look like a lump of masking tape, and a floral two piece which gave the appearance of an oversized napkin in a serving ring.

I struggled into a pair of leopard skin bathers with ragged frills and came out looking like
Tarzan's Jane, pregnant with triplets and having a rough day.

I tried on a black number with a midriff and looked like a jellyfish in mourning.

I tried on a bright pink pair with such a high cut leg I thought I would have to wax my eyebrows to wear them.

Finally, I found a suit that fit...a two-piece affair with a shorts style bottom and a loose
blouse-type top. It was cheap, comfortable, and bulge-friendly, so I bought it. My ridiculous search had a successful outcome, I figured.

When I got home, I found a label which read -- 'Material might become transparent in water.'

So, if you happen to be on the beach or near any other body of water this year and I'm there too, I'll be the one in cut-off jeans and a T-shirt!

We do a lot of traveling back and forth to Oklahoma City, which is 87 miles. Of course with teenagers and a 5 year old in the car, someone is always wanting something to eat. We try to take along a snack of chips or pretzels. If you want to stop, Mickey Ds has good chicken nuggets for eating in the car or Sonic's new $1 menu items. We try not to spend a lot of money for food and don't usually go in to a restaurant and eat. Since we stop at Sams on most trips, the kids love their hot dogs and that pretty well fills them up for the trip home. We haven't found any miracle way to keep from having spills or messy trash in the car but we would never go anywhere without a package of wet wipes. They are also good for wiping hands before eating which is so important today with germs being spread on everything you touch.

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words, send my URL to your friends. We all need to smile every once in a while.

We had a pretty good day of garage saleing yesterday. Believe it or not I got a $50.00 Pier One rug (olive green) 2 feet by 8 feet, brand new for $5. Got three lined baskets for a dollar each, a Christmas card holder for $2 and a large Anne Geddes photo album for 50 cents. Now are those bargains or are those bargains?

NOT EVEN FOR A MILLION DOLLARS!!!!

A few years ago, a woman and her husband were coming home from a ski trip in British Columbia when they spotted a disabled car on the side of the road. It was raining and the driver looked distressed, so they stopped and helped him fix his flat tire. The man was extremely grateful but didn't have any cash to reward them, so he took down their personal information. A week later, the couple got a call from their bank saying their mortgage had been paid and $10,000 had been deposited into their account by an appreciative Bill Gates.

Snopes.com, the Internet's preeminent resource for verifying and debunking rumors, ridiculous claims, and those e-mail chain letters your sister-in-law can't stop forwarding. Whether it's an urban legend like the Gates story, an overblown warning about the latest computer virus, or that bizarre photo circulating of "Hercules, the world's biggest dog," chances are Snopes.com has checked it out and rated it as "true," "false," or "undetermined." They have lots of subjects and the following sections: What's new, Randomizer, Hot 25, FAQ, Odd News, Glossary, Newsletter, and Message Board. I can't count the number of times I have received an email telling me something, thought it sounded funny, checked on Snopes and found it to be a myth. I always email the person who sent it so they can go back and tell all the people they sent it to that it is untrue.

So the next time you get an email telling you that the planet Mars will make a remarkably close approach to Earth in August 2009 and before you pass it on, check it out with Snopes. You can also find more sites on more subjects by checking out: The Best Emyths, Scams, Internet Hoaxes, Urban Legends, and Superstitions Websites

Peel a banana from the bottom and you won't have to pick the little "stringy things" off of it. That's how the primates do it. Take your bananas apart when you get home from the store. If you leave them connected at the stem, they ripen faster

More Works-For-Me Wednesday tips

Grab a pencil and jot down your answers:

1. On a standard traffic light, is the green on the top or bottom?
2. How many states are there? (Don't laugh, some people don't know)
3. In which hand is the Statue of Liberty's torch?
4. What 6 colors are on the classic Campbells soup label?
5. Are any letters not on the telephone dial? (No cheating!)
6. What 2 keys on the telephone dial don't have letters by them?
7. When you walk does your left arm swing w/your right or left leg?
8. How many matches are in a standard pack [cardboard flip top]?
9. On the United States flag is the top stripe red or white?
10. What is the lowest number on the FM dial?
11. Which way does water go down the drain in the US, counter or clockwise?
12. Which way does a "no smoking" signs slash run?
13. How many channels on a VHF TV dial?
14. Which side of a womens blouse are the buttons on?
15. On a NY license plate, is New York on the top or bottom?
16. Which way do fans rotate?
17. Whose face is on a dime?
18. How many sides does a stop sign have?
19. Do books have even-numbered pages on the right or left side?
20. How many lug nuts are on a standard car wheel?
21. How many sides are there on a standard pencil?
22. Sleepy, Happy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Dopey, Doc. Who's missing?
23. How many hot dog buns are in a standard package?
25. On which playing card is the card makers trademark?
26. On which side of a Venetian blind is the cord that adjusts the opening between the slats?
27. On the back of a $1 bill, what is in the center?
28. There are 12 buttons on a touch tone phone. What 2 symbols bear no digits?
29. How many curves are there in the standard paper clip?
30. Does a merry-go-round turn counter or clockwise?

-------------
Answers to 13 May Quiz:

1. Bottom
2. 50 (please tell me you at least got this one!)
3. Right
4. Blue, red, white, yellow, black, and gold
5. No
6. 1 and #
7. Right
8. 20
9. Red
10. 88
11. Counter (unless you happen to be south of the equator)
12. Towards bottom right
13. 12 (no #1)
14. Left
15. Top
16. Clockwise as you look at it
17. Roosevelt
18. 8
19. Left
20. 5
21. 6
22. Bashful
23. 8
24. Did you notice there wasn't one?
25. Ace of spades
26. Left
27. ONE
28. *, #
29. 3
30. Counter

Have you heard about this:

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
MARCEL REID, ACORN: ACORN doesn't need to be funded with any more taxpayer dollars until we find out what happened to the last taxpayer dollars that ACORN was funded with.
(END VIDEO CLIP)

Boy, isn't it awfully suspicious that people within the organization itself can't seem to get answers about where all the taxpayer money is going? There's no transparency and when people have asked questions, they've been tossed out — like, Karen Inman.
We know there is smoke, but is there fire? I don't know because it's nearly impossible to unravel the web of organizations that are part of this massive group. All of ACORN apparently operates under the umbrella of Citizens Consulting Inc., whose Web site is completely empty aside from its address: 1024 Elysian Fields Ave., New Orleans. According to corporate filings, about 270 related organizations — which are a mix of corporations and non-profits from states from California to Louisiana — have filed from that location. Does that look like a building that holds 270 organizations?

The $630,000 building that was once a funeral home is owned by Elysian Fieldscorp. But there's even more smoke there. The president of ACORN, Wade Rathke, is also a partner in Elysian Fieldscorp. And he and his brother Dale are listed as president or partner in dozens of companies based in that building in Louisiana. We've told you that Dale embezzled about a million dollars while serving as comptroller of CCI and was fired about a year ago over it — only after the scandal had been brushed under the carpet for about eight years. But is there fire?

To give you an idea of what's going on at that address as far as size and scope, compare it to the United Way. The United Way has 1,300 local organizations, while ACORN has 1,200 — so they're roughly the same size. But, we found just 13 records of affiliated organizations at United Way's main address. ACORN has two hundred and seventy. So what's going on in that location? We don't know yet. We think it could be as harmless as an administrative letter drop.

Ever wonder how some sayings and traditions got started? I happened to run across some interesting ones that I thought I would pass on.

Interesting facts about life in the 1500's
by someone named Andy, Gettysburg, Pa

* Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May and were still smelling pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the b.o.

* Baths equaled a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually loose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water."

* Houses had thatched roofs. Thick straw, piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the pets ... dogs, cats and other small animals, mice, rats, bugs lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying, "It's raining cats and dogs."

* The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt, hence the saying "dirt poor." The wealthy had slate floors which would get slippery in the winter when wet. So they spread thresh on the floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they kept adding more thresh until when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed at the entryway, hence a "thresh hold."

* Lead cups were used to drink ale or whiskey. The combination would sometimes knock them out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a "wake."

* England is old and small and they started running out of places to bury people. So, they would dig up coffins and would take their bones to a house and reuse the grave. In reopening these coffins, one out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they thought they would tie a string on their wrist and lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night to listen for the bell. Hence on the "graveyard shift" they would know that someone was "saved by the bell" or he was a "dead ringer."

A phobia is an intense fear of something that poses no actual danger. While awareness that the fears are irrational, phobics often find that facing, or even thinking about facing the feared situation brings on a panic attack or severe anxiety.

# Ablutophobia: Fear of washing or bathing
# Anemophobia: Fear of wind
# Anthrophobia: Fear of flowers
# Bogyphobia: Fear of the bogeyman
# Chromatophobia: Fear of colors
# Chronophobia: Fear of time
# Ereuthophobia: Fear of the color red
# Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia: Fear of long words (You think?)
# Lachanophobia: Fear of vegetables (like your broccoli is going to jump up and eat you?)
# Nebulaphobia: Fear of fog
# Neophobia: Fear of anything new (wish my granddaughter had this fear about new clothes)
# Octophobia: Fear of the number 8 (Hope Octomom doesn't have one!!)
# Phronemophobia: Fear of thinking
# Anablephobia: Fear of looking up
# Arachibutyrophobia: Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth.
# Barophobia: Fear of gravity
# Dendrophobia: Fear of trees
# Graphophobia: Fear of writing

I heard about this and want to pass it on for parents and grandparents who have kids that like to use the computer.

KidZui is a free Web browser, search engine and community for kids 3-12.

Kids have the freedom to learn, play, search and discover over 2 million games, websites, videos and photos on their own. KidZui has the largest number of games, websites, videos and photos reviewed by parents and teachers anywhere. Kids can find what they need to help with schoolwork, by themselves.

Kids safely express themselves, with their Zui, backgrounds, tags and online status.
KidZui eliminates the need for parents to constantly watch over their kids' shoulder, when they are online. Parents know what their kids are doing online and they can connect by sharing content. KidZui sends a weekly email that tells you what your kids are doing online. The KidZui parent account lets you share content and set limits.

KidZui is free to all families but also offers paid Membership with extra benefits.
Search is essential for kids, as they learn all the things that will make them productive adults.

KidZui Search is tailored to the needs of kids. KidZui Search provides:

* Suggestions and spelling correction
* Search results with content relevant to kids
* Graphical presentation that is easy for kids to understand

Search Designed for Kids: Your kids can search any topic from Aardvarks to Zebras, Art to Science and everything in between. KidZui has over 2 million games, websites and videos reviewed by parents and teachers. KidZui provides spelling suggestions based on what is typed. Suggestions are in order of kid popularity.

Search with Suggestions: KidZui Search helps kids with spelling. When kids start typing, KidZui suggests words or phrases that complete what has been typed. KidZui displays a picture next to each suggestion to help children who are learning to read. The suggestions are ordered by kid popularity, so that kids can quickly find what they are looking for. Much, much more.........

I thought these were very symbolic of our way of life. If you can think of any let us know:


Only in America .......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America ......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in America .....do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America .....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage

Only in America.......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America......do we put the items we need most in the back of the grocery store so we will buy items we don't need as we go there.

Only in America .....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering..

Do you know what a stone toter is or what a grinder shop sells? We all know, that Americans have many names for many situations or objects, according to the part of the country we live in. An example for the kind of sandwich that includes meats, cheeses, lettuce, tomatoes, etc., served in a long bun, can be called a hero, hoagie, grinder, sub, torpedo, Cuban, etc. In different places people use the words darning needle, ear cutter, eye stitcher, mosquito (or skeeter) hawk, sewing needle, snake doctor, or snake feeder (among other terms) for a dragonfly.

A dictionary is in the works (several volumes already out) by the University of Wisconsin, Madison who has a team putting this together. The Dictionary of American Regional English (better known as DARE) can be very important to such occupations as Doctors, investigators, speakers, actors, writers, etc. DARE can tell you where people might live if their favorite card games are euchre, five hundred, schafskopf, sheepshead, or sixty-three; or where Americans eat apple pandowdy, lutefisk, or rivel; or where people are from if they live in dog trots, railroad flats, salt boxes, or shotgun houses.

The language of our everyday lives is captured in DARE, along with expressions our grandparents used but our children will never know. Based on interviews with thousands of Americans across the country, as well as on newspapers, histories, novels, diaries, letters, government documents, and other written sources, the Dictionary of American Regional English presents our language in its infinite variety.

Four volumes of DARE, including extensive introductory matter and letters A through Sk-, have been published (1985-2002), to the acclaim of scholarly and lay reviewers alike. Volume V, containing the remainder of the alphabet, is presently scheduled for publication in 2010.

A partial example of how the words are explained:

honeyfuggle v  
Also honeyfackle, honeyfugle, honeyfogle [Perh var of Engl dial connyfogle v. “To hoodwink, entice by flattery” infl by honey n; cf also EDD gallyfuggle v. “To deceive, take in” and honey v1] somewhat old-fash
1 To swindle or dupe; to intend to cheat or trick; hence vbl n honeyfuggling. Cf bamfoozle 11829 Va. Lit. Museum 30 Dec. 458 (DAE) KY, Honeyfuggle, to quiz, to cozen.  1848 Bartlett Americanisms 179, Honey-fogle, to swindle; to cheat; to lay plans to deceive.  1852 Knickerbocker 40.548 FL, A neighbor . . honey-fackled him in the matter of a heap of logs.  1858 Harper’s New Mth. Mag. 17.270/1, “It’s all honey-fuggling”. . . “What’s honey-fuggling?” “It’s cutting it too fat over the left.”  1931 Hench Coll. cVA, Alderman was no judge of men. He never could tell whether a man was a gentleman or a bounder. Anybody could honeyfogle him.
2 To flatter, sweet-talk; to wheedle; to ballyhoo; hence n honeyfoogler a flatterer.1856 Knickerbocker 48.286 (OEDS), They go cavorting out, honey-fuggling their consciences.  etc, etc

So if words are your thing, you might check with your favorite bookstore or online book seller. If the prices knock you out of your chair you might check on the book: "How We Talk: American Regional English Today" - it is a whole lot cheaper!!

I don't know how many of you are apt to buy some fast food once in awhile. I do on occasion, and other than McDonalds sausage, egg and cheese McMuffin, I don't usually eat their fast food. On my granddaughters recommendation recently, I tried their new Grilled Chicken Club Sandwich. I want to say, it was really good. It had everything on it, lettuce, bacon, tomato, mozzarella cheese, mayo and the grilled chicken. (probably one million calories but its not like I'm going to go get one every day). You can get the chicken grilled or breaded. If you are in the mood for a good chicken sandwich one of these days you might try it - I think you'll like it. (Just because I like their chicken club sandwich doesn't mean I forgive them for the times they get all our orders wrong!)