Santa in the Traffic Pattern?
Follow up on the post "No Sheep In The Inn"?
The following article 'Livestock law loophole large enough for Santa's reindeer' is By Jeff Mullin, Senior Writer, Enid News and Eagle.Once again, it seems, there is some question whether or not Santa Claus will be welcome in Enid. In 2007 rumors abounded Santa Claus would be prevented from flying over Enid because of security concerns at Vance Air Force Base. Vance officials quickly squashed the rumor. Capt Tony Wickman, at that time chief of public affairs for the base, said, “Vance Air Force Base is excited to have Santa and his team return to Enid.” Last year, Wickmans successor, 1st Lt. Agneta Murnan, echoed those sentiments. “Team Vance welcomes Santa Claus to its airspace each year.” Also in 2008, U.S. Secretary of Transportation Mary Peters signed an agreement allowing Santa to fly through military airspace to deliver gifts to good little girls and boys throughout the United States. “Allowing him to use military airspace will ensure that the crowded sky will not mean empty stockings on Christmas morning,” Peters said. "It just wouldn’t do to have the ‘Gridlock Grinch’ stealing Christmas.” Now comes a reader posting a note on our newspapers Web site asking whether or not the city of Enids new livestock ordinance would keep the jolly old elf from making his appointed rounds here in our fair city.
Santas sleigh, of course, is an eight reindeer-power beauty (nine with Rudolph). Reindeer are, of course, large animals. Reindeer are not specifically covered by the Enid animal ordinance but could fall under the category of “exotic animals.” Reindeer weigh between 130 and 370 pounds and measure 64 to 81 inches long. They can stand from 31 to 59 inches at the shoulder. The male, or bull, is typically larger. Tradition holds Santas reindeer are boys, with the possible exception of Vixen (and we are not too sure about Prancer). At any rate, these are large creatures that will be landing on roofs throughout the Enid area next Thursday night. The city of Enids livestock law, according to its Web site, “exists to protect the citizens of the city of Enid from nuisance. The city has exercised its police power to pass this ordinance in order to protect the health, safety and welfare of the citizens.”
Santas reindeer should not endanger anyones health, safety and welfare, unless, of course you happen to be on your roof on Christmas Eve. Historys only record of a human-reindeer incident has been immortalized in the song, “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer,” but that tale is said to be apocryphal.
The woman in question, known only as Grandma, was alleged to have been drinking. She reportedly was found Christmas morning with “hoof prints on her forehead, and incriminatin’ Claus marks on her back.” No charges were filed and the National Transportation Safety Board issued no report. And how could anyone ever call Santas reindeer a nuisance, with the possible exception of the Grinch, Ebenezer Scrooge and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad? Without the reindeer, how would old “bowl full of jelly” deliver all those gifts? It just would not be the same if Santa had to rely on FedEx, UPS or the post office. There is a possible loophole in the citys livestock ordinance, however. There is an exemption for therapy animals that are trained, certified and registered by a state or nationally recognized organization. What better therapy could there be than for a child to wake up Christmas morning and find a pile of toys under their familys Christmas tree? And Santas reindeer have been certified by the Air Force and the Department of Transportation, for crying out loud. So do not worry, kids, Santa will be welcome when he traverses the skies over Enid on Christmas Eve. But remember, the same rules apply. He is not coming until you are tucked all snug in your bed. Visions of sugarplums are optional. And adults, if you should happen to find yourself outside on Christmas Eve, and you happen to hear sleigh bells and a voice yelling, “On Dasher, on Dancer, et cetra,” do not look up.
It is a long flight from the North Pole, after all, with no time for potty breaks.
posted by Ann at
9:35 AM
2 Comments:
That is funny! :)
This is funny! I enjoyed it very much. I am so glad Santa is coming to Enid. Thanks for the info about the sites below, too.
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