How Will People Remember You?
There was a neat article in the newspaper this week that I would like to share with all of you this Memorial Day weekend.........
Here are some words to live (and die) by
By Diane Peck, Columnist
Enid News & Eagle, Enid, OK (May 09)
Earlier this year, Jeff Mullin, of the Enid News and Eagle, wrote about summing up a life in just six words, and how these words easily could become a personal epitaph. His examples and responses to that column were captivating and touching, as well as funny.
This Memorial weekend, many of us will pause to reflect on the lives of those no longer with us. To remember and honor does not necessarily require a trip to the cemetery, but going there provides a chance to check out the many ways people choose to memorialize their loved ones. Not all tributes are made up of just six words, of course, but as space on that stone is limited, most are short and to the point.
Like many small town cemeteries, the one near Ames provides a rich history of the area. There are lots of family names that appear again and again, including those of my husbands family, the Pecks and Downs. I have always enjoyed strolling through this cemetery. Away from town, the only sounds come from the wind, a few cows and an occasional passing vehicle. To me, it feels like a cemetery should, peaceful, quiet, thought provoking.
The headstones are unique and varied, inscriptions range from simple birth and death dates to elaborately etched stones featuring verses, song lyrics, quotes, pictures, flags, vases, and sometimes, even a few words about the manner in which the person passed on. Oh yeah, and there is one rather large and eerie stone that never fails to raise the hairs on the back of my neck. It says something like "As you are now, so once was I. As I am now, you soon will be. Prepare yourself to follow me." (Yikes! First I would like to know which way he went!)
In one local Enid cemetery, there is a headstone inscription that reads. "There will be two dates on your tombstone, and all your friends will read 'em, but all that is gonna matter is, that little dash between 'em (Song lyrics by Kevin Welch) And it is that dash that can pack a punch!
The Daily Oklahoman obits are full of the "dash" lowdown, for example, an obituary might go something like this: Mary Sue was crowned "Popcorn Queen" for the number of bags she could fill every Friday morning at Horton Elementary School. The rest of her week was spent bartending, coloring hair, striper fishing and making just about anything out of a piece of foil. Or how about this one: Joe Don liked his wife, but loved his dog. (Easily transformed into the six meaningful words: Liked his wife, loved his dog!)
Since we are all going to be remembered for something, here is an exercise that might help you determine whether you are living a life that will make that something a good thing. I read about this years ago. Imagine yourself at your own "after the funeral" dinner, lurking about, listening to what your friends and family have to say about you and your life. For me, it might come out sounding something like this: "You had to be sure you never got between her and her kids, her and her money, or her and her food." "She could not pass a mirror without checking her hair." "Yeah, ole Diane, she could dish it out but she could not take it!" "But she made an awesome taco salad."
My husband and I are still undecided whether to go for burial or cremation. (I have toyed with the idea of having my ashes divided up into cute little containers so each of my kids can have a bit of me. Only problem is, I am afraid I might one day end up on the 10 cent table at a garage sale!) Anyway, we figure whether it is casket or urn, we would like a little something said, so we came up with these simple words to sum up our lives on this earth. He says for me it should be "Her mind was almost as sharp as her tongue." And mine for him, "He could not put it off until tomorrow."
posted by Grannyann at
12:57 PM
7 Comments:
Interesting thoughts and epitaphs!
Did you notice on your blog that some of your letters look like symbols? (Or is it just that way on my computer as I read it?)
Sometimes when I just copy and paste and they used a different format, that happens. I have tried to fix it (this time I cannot see errors) but if you still see some, please let me know. Thanks
"Prepare yourself to follow me." Ha! The original Twitter guy.
Wow, after barking orders at my husband all day this is certainly a timely post. I certainly don't want to be remembered as "the shrew"!
Very interesting and thought provoking read, now I'm going to apologize to him and think about this!
I'll be cremated. I hate cemeteries and I won't make my kids visit me there. I'll put something in my will that will force them to keep me on the dining table or they'll lose the little money I'll be leaving them.
The thing is, we're never remembered forever. Those who remember us will pass on also, then we're just a name on a tombstone.
I want to be cremated.
After I'm dead, that is...
Me, I choose casket. People can remember me by my life and headstone inscription rather than some urn stuck in a closet.
Ideas for headstone inscriptions
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